Oh hun I couldn't read this and not post i can't imagine the amount of stress you are under right now.
Although it may seem hard, I would definitely confront the in-laws, and explain (doesn't necessarily have to be in full detail, but enough they know whats happening) what your mum is really like and the reasons she's done this (according to her, then your version of events)
It will likely be awkward as anything, but they may surprise you with how understanding and supportive they are!
I would DEFINITELY be blocking her numbers from your and DH's phone now, and giving her warnings that of she doesn't back off that further action will be taken (dont have to say what, if you're not sure what you'd do, but it's the threat nonetheless)
Even after talking to the IL's, get them to block her number if they agree? I'm sure they wouldn't object to it seeing as they'd likely be gettin woken up at all hours of the night :/
I really hope things settle down Hun and sprout is born to a (relatively) stress-free mumma, and drama-free life
Sent from the mobile world of iPhones - while no doubt i should be elsewhere!
After 11yrs of being together, the IL's dont know that my mum kicked me out of home, that she emotionally and physically abused and tormented me for years. That I was the adult in the house that cleaned, cooked and cared for my brother and her. That I didnt have a social life because I was either trapped in the house on weekends, or not allowed in the house at all. Wait that was every day just not weekends. No one knows that I would get up in the morning and try and find something for our lunches, that I would babysit in order to enable her drinking and gambling, that the money I earnt went on feeding my brother or to her so she could party away her life.
Im sure they know the relationship is different to others, but not sure how different. They have no idea about the random bouts of abuse I get because she likes to make herself better by putting me down.
I have no idea about what she has been saying this time round. I dont even know what she would have thought up for me to have done wrong.
Maybe I should as Dh to ask his mum? At least that way I know what I am dealing with without exposing myself too much?
What your mother is doing is not on. How dare she try and use your in laws to get at you. Talk to your in laws. YOu don't have to disclose everything to them but tell them that your mother is not a well women and is trying to cause trouble and that they should block her. If your mother keeps it up I would be contacting the police and looking into a harrassment order been put on your mum. I think you will need proof though, have you kept any SMS she has sent and keep your's and DH phone log of incoming calls so it shows how many times she calls.
Your mother needs to know this is not on and that you need to be left alone. I know at the moment you are concentrating on Sprouts arrival (yay, can not wait) but I don't think your mother is ever going to let up.
I think your DH needs to talk to his family and find out what she's saying, and put them right. Without you "knowing" anything about it - he can tell you later, but make it look like he's acting off his own bat.
Second, you need to tell your mother she is out your life and if she attempts ANY contact with you or your ILs, contact you via your brother or suchlike, there will be police involvement. This has gone waaaaay too far. I know my mother (nowhere near as bad as yours) talks me down to my PiL, but they don't listen to her and she doesn't call them. I would be really creeped and sickened by something like this.
Thanks Kazzo adn Tfb, Ive been thinking I will get Dh to find out whats being said, at least I dont have to find the guts to do talk to them about it. He will find out and set them straight.
When mum left here this time she went to stay with her sister, so today I sent her a message asking her what had been said. thankfully my aunt has been out of my mothers life for the best part of 20yrs (one relative I never got to know thanks to their fighting) and she didnt have much to say. Im going to email her and explain what happened, Im only just getting a relationship with her.
When Dh talks to his parents I'll get him to ask them to not answer the phone when she calls, well unless she calls on their home phone.
You're right Tfb, it is creepy and sickening. Worst thing is she just doesnt get it at all! She has no idea how far over the line she crossed. Right now I cant talk to her, Im not in the right place in my head to do so. I think I will write her a letter after sprout is born, when mmy hormones have settled. One of us needs to be the logical one surely.
i can't imagine the amount of stress you are under right now.
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